I Embraced My Dark Side And Changed My World

"Why do we find ourselves disproportionately angry with selfishness of a friend, the laziness of a co-worker, the arrogance of a family member-or even the rudeness of a stranger?  Why do the same old things get to us so easily, and so intensely?  Our "same old things, " are clues to our dark sides-and to the emotions and traits we fear most in ourselves."

-Debbie Ford,  The Dark Side of The Light Chasers

It has been a while since I have sat down and shared via this blog.  The past two months have been a non stop whirlwind adventure of assisting in opening up a brand new business (not mine), building my energy healing skills, promoting Recovery Rising, teaching yoga, and getting ready for the holidays.  Wwew.  December was a whirl.  December was also magical.  Magical in many ways....

There is one magical thing in particular that  happened in December that I would like to share about. It was a beautiful, painful, frustrating, healing, and liberating lesson I went through that lasted over the time span of the past two months.   A lesson I am grateful now to have been taught because for years It has been a teaching that I have carried with me only in an intellectual way.

Over the past couple of months I have had in my environment a very interesting person.  This person in many ways intrigued me  by the vast amount of knowledge they possessed about food, the government, so called "conspiracy theories", and a whole host of other topics that make me wonder how one person can contain so much information.  I was always entertained and eager to learn more from this person I will refer to as, "Lee."

I can say that in the many lifetimes I have lived within this lifetime and the people I have encountered in those lifetimes (and I have encountered some characters) I have never met anyone like, Lee.  I can truly say Lee has been one of my greatest teachers so far and I will share why.

Lee is quite talented and very efficient at what he does in a chaotic way.  Lee wants things done in a certain way and gets frustrated because they aren't at a level she is used too.  Lee tends to take her frustrations out by creating an environment of negativity around her. I will not go into detail of the different ways her negativity is expressed.  I choose not to relive the experience.  Let me just say the negativity ripples through the air and into the people that are standing close to him and has a negative effect on the mind and body.

I am a firm believer that what is in the environment around me is a reflection of what is going on within me.  I knew that I attracted Lee into my life based on something I needed to see, but for so long all I could see and feel was my annoyance and frustration towards him and the environment it was creating.

I was quite stunned that a person could act in the manner that she was acting.  I did not want to keep focusing on this persons shortcomings.  I knew that was not right.  I tried to find out my part in why he was acting like this or just understand the bigger picture that did not have to do with me.  When I found out things that I could do on my part to possibly improve the situation I did my best.  It didn't help.  I was quickly reminded I can't change anyone.  I can only change me.  What was it I not understanding?   Why did I manifest this situation?

Weeks of confusion and frustration went by. Then It Clicked.  The shift happened.......

I don't if it was the new Primordial Sound Meditation practice I had started or the many drops of Balance Dottera Essential Oil I applied to my skin that morning, but I had my awakening and shift in one beautiful moment a few weeks ago.  I was deep into my morning activity standing across from Lee.  My breathing was slow and deep so I could stay centered and make it through the time I had to spend around him.  I was still going about my business when suddenly I had the magic wand "bop me across the head moment" and finally, I GOT IT.

This person was reflecting back to me, my own NEGATIVITY!

Yes.  It was one of the aspects of my dark side I just was not owning.  I was not accepting.
 This disowned part of me was running everything in my life because I was not owning it.

In that moment my heart center opened and I automatically started sending love Lee's way.  I sent it because in that moment I was seeing through the eyes of my heart and what I saw was an embodiment of all the negativity that was within me.  I was sending love and accepting....me.

I also remembered that just a month prior I had done a 40 day meditation for the, Positive Mind.  This meditation included a mantra to balance out the negative mind.  Duh, it made so much sense now.  Months ago I had realized my negative mind had seemed to really taken the drivers seat in my life and I needed to do something about it.  After the 40 days of the meditation was over I got caught up in other life activities and I literally forgot I had practiced that meditation.  I had set the energies in motion to assist me in balancing the negativity within me.  I just forgot about it.  Ooops.

After that moment everything OUTSIDE of me changed.  I am not kidding.  It did. This persons actions no longer had any power over me.  The charge was gone.  In fact, in the days after that moment I noticed the whole environment started to change and Lee seemed different too.  When there was an expression of negativity it did not phase me.  I stayed centered and moved right on.  I would just send love.

I have been trying to get this lesson for years.  I first learned about finding the clues to my disowned dark side through people who would get under my skin from the book,  The Dark Side of The Light Chasers by Debbie Ford.  I have continued to learn about my shadow self through Kundalini Yoga teachings, Oneness Teachings, and various other people who clearly got this similar lesson and were kind enough to share their experience too.  I have always had an intellectual understanding of it, but, never have I had a profound experience with it such as this.

We truly can shift our own world around us by shifting what is within us.

The so called "dark sides" of us are part of the divine creation.  We cannot know light without dark.  That is the beauty of the human experience.  We are to embrace both.  How else can we learn how to love?


"We are here to learn from all these parts of ourselves and make peace with them.  To be truly authentic persons, we have to allow the aspects of ourselves that we love and accept coexist with all the aspects of ourselves we make wrong.  When we can lovingly hold all these traits together in one hand, without judgement, they will naturally integrate into our system.  Then we can take off our masks and trust the universe created each of us with a divine design.  The we can stand tall, embracing the world WITHIN."


-Debbie Ford,  The Dark Side of The Light Chasers


I thank Lee for playing the role of my teacher.

Now it is time to move on.

This time I am putting  a request in to the universe for a more gentle experience.......please!

I


http://www.spiritvoyage.com/blog/?p=18190

Here is a blog from Spirit Voyage talking about Overcoming the Negative Mind.  At the end of the blog is a video with the meditation I practiced for 40 Days.  You will have to forward through the video to the part when the meditation comes up. There is also a kriya for the Positive Mind included.  Anne Novak shares about the meditation in the video.  The experience I just wrote about happened after I practiced this meditation.  Coincidence?  I don't know..........