About

                RECOVERY RISING

"It begins within"

                                    Definition of Recovery: "A return to ones original self"
                                    How to get there:             Surrender

                          

"It was sometime in 2011 and I was having lunch with a student after a Recovery Rising class.   We were talking about career paths and I was questioning if I had any business teaching a class about self-healing.  She looked at me and said, "Are you kidding, you are recovery."  I let out a nervous laugh because I did not feel that way at all.  I still don't!  

Later on that day I got to thinking just how much I have uncovered that has allowed me to experience glimpses of who I was born to be.  All I had to do was think about the person I was 8 years ago and the person I am now.  In those years I have gone to the depths of hell within to rescue myself.  It started when I entered into the rooms of a 12 step program 8 yrs ago and put down those substances that temporarily helped take the pain of my life away.  Since then I have released copious amounts of anger, rage, pain, and toxic shame.  I have met and continue to heal the relationship with my inner child.  I have shed layers of emotional baggage , uncovered core issues, and continue to make friends with my shadows.

The amazing thing is little did I know just weeks after that conversation and in the presence of that same student my life as I knew it would shatter into a million pieces. During the first meditation of an all day White Tantric Yoga workshop I had childhood traumatic memories release from the limbic area of my brain.  Those memories in combination with a flood of toxic shame took over my mind and body.  I  once again had to venture into the depths of hell to find and rescue myself.  Yes.  It  only took 33 years to reach the core of my pain. 

The false self that was built upon childhood trauma was shattered. 

A journey of my re-birth was to begin.  This is the journey of discovering my authentic self.  A self I have never known and still don't.  

This blog is both a theraputic tool for my personal healing journey and a service to others.  It is about healing at both the physical and the energetic levels.  It is about being aware of what is being put into my body and how it is supporting my recovery process.  It is about utilizing tools that go bone deep, cell deep, and womb deep to facilitate healing.  It is random thoughts and ramblings, sarcasm, curse words, 12 step recovery talk, and yes some warm and fuzzy positve quotes.  

Awareness is the first step to "returning to your original self".

I am not one to stay in a box and neither is my recovery.  I have drawn on many different resources to be able to release to the depths I have gone in a short amount of time.  I have made many mistakes and gained many life changing tools.  I am still making mistakes and still doing my best to learn from them. I take three steps forward and two steps back but I keep moving.  I don't give up.  

Recovery is a bitch and a blessing.  It is hard work.  It is messy.  It is raw.  It takes commitment, courage, discipline, and a great amount of humility.  It is not just for drug addicts and alcoholics.  It is for anyone who wants to live as the bountiful, blissful, beautiful person they were meant to be and may have forgotten.  It is for anyone who is tired of living behind a mask or repeating the same life long destructive patterns expecting different results.  It is about getting to the core to heal the pain.  It is about building a loving relationship with the self from the inside out."  

I am on a journey of finding out who "Kristianna" is.   

That is the essence  of  RECOVERY RISING.  

Visit me once in a while on your journey.  Know that you are not alone.  We shall all rise together and soar in the truth of who we were born to be!

I deserve to live a LIFE IN COLOR.

I deserve to know what life is like standing in my worth.

I deserve to live life without shame.

I deserve to live my dreams.

I deserve to feel passion.

I deserve the return of my original self.