I know that certain women will know exactly what I am talking about. Those who have never had to even entertain the following thoughts will probably not get it. Either way I felt inspired to write about it. In fact I believe I have a multi part blog coming through so if anything peaks your interest stay tuned for Part 2 coming soon.
This is my dream........
To not be scared of women. To know what it is like to be in a close loving friendship with other women. To walk away after meeting new women without thinking I sounded like a complete nervous dipshit. To not be afraid of the Divine Feminine energy within me A.K.A my power!
Most women terrify me. Not all. But most.
I see it around me all the time. Women hanging out with women. Talking. Giggling. Shopping. Going out to dinner. Hanging out at the park. Embracing one another. Crying on each others shoulders. It is a beautiful sight to witness. There is nothing more powerful than the energy of a woman. There is nothing more healing than one woman reaching out to another. Why is it I turn from women so easily? Why am I so afraid of them?
Over the past month and half I have slowly and painfully been made aware of why this has plagued a large part of my life. I recently also have been taken to a whole new level of awareness around something I thought I knew about-The Divine Feminine Energy.
Wow. Do I have a lot to learn.
The Divine Feminine Energy. No. This is not a "new age" reference. This is a reference to the energy that exists within both men and women.
The energy that is responsible for creation.
The energy that allows one human to nurture another, feel compassion, and be able to receive.
The energy that heals.
The energy that can project into the future to figure out how things need to be done.
It is intuition-knowing the unknown.
It is the energy of ideas and dreams.
It is softness and beauty, kindness, and quiet strength.
It is passion and fury.
It is transformation and sacrifice.
This energy is ever-present in the cycles of life.
In the waxing and waning of the moon.
It is what scares some men and women.
It is one of the most powerful forms of energy on this planet.
It is love.
The energy that is responsible for creation.
The energy that allows one human to nurture another, feel compassion, and be able to receive.
The energy that heals.
The energy that can project into the future to figure out how things need to be done.
It is intuition-knowing the unknown.
It is the energy of ideas and dreams.
It is softness and beauty, kindness, and quiet strength.
It is passion and fury.
It is transformation and sacrifice.
This energy is ever-present in the cycles of life.
In the waxing and waning of the moon.
It is what scares some men and women.
It is one of the most powerful forms of energy on this planet.
It is love.
The power of the Divine Feminine energy is magical. Beautiful. Life changing.
I will be referring to it within women for the duration of this blog.
Why do people not honor this energy more? Why do I not honor this energy within?
It just wasn't something I was brought up to pay attention to in any sacred way. I had no role models or influences to guide me into the mysteries and sacredness of being a woman. I fought with my sister through most of my childhood until she moved away when I was 10 years old. My maternal grandmother died when I was 8 and my paternal grandmother lived in Tennessee. She didn't talk about those things. I had my mother who did her best at the time, but, was not in any way equipped to share with me about the sacredness of being a woman.
Do any mother's or grandmother's teach about The Divine Feminine anymore?
I believe the influence of a persons parents/caretakers, immediate and extended family, and community create a person's conditioning. That is how we learn to see ourselves, treat ourselves, and interact with others. If I were raised in a family with three other sisters who showed love for one another perhaps I would have learned more about relating to other girls? I don't know.
Perhaps having a group of girls whom I innocently trusted when I was little turn on me one day and yell at me to go away did something to me. When I didn't go away because I was confused they threatened to hang me by my toes from the sliding board. They even threatened my life. Is this how girls treat other girls? What was wrong with me? I never found out. The memory never left me.
There are many things being revealed to me as to why I have been afraid of my own Divine Feminine Energy. It isn't just about not having women influences or being threatened. No. It is something even more dark. Something I do not care to share. My Divine Feminine Energy is wounded. It is frozen. It was traumatized years ago. When I meet certain women I see myself reflected back. I see my wounding. I see it and I freeze even more. It is not them I see. It is me.
Yogi Bhajan said, "There is nothing outside of us. It is all in us."
My dream is one day to be able to just be around a group of women and feel comfortable. To laugh. To talk. To not talk. To dance. To be wild. To just be me.
How will this happen?
It already is.
How?
The Divine Feminine Energy is showing me how.
How?
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| Divine Feminine |
How is the Divine Rising in Your Life Today?
It's true. There is nothing outside of us. The Divine Feminine is within each of us, whether we are male or female. Your light is within me, and my light is within you.-Ramdesh Kaur, Spirit Voyage 40 Day Sadhana
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