2012 The Year of Authenticity, Inner Earthquakes, Volcanoes and Vomiting!

We are at the home stretch of 2012!  The last quarter before December, and I think most of us agree the pressure is on!  What do I mean about pressure?  I can't answer that for you put I can answer it for me.  My pressure has been my resistance to do what I need to do to live authentically.  This inner resistance has led to inner explosions resulting in ......VOMITING and other imbalances.  Two weekends ago I experienced not only an earthquake within my whole body in the form of shakes and convulsions I could not control, but I also experienced a volcano which came in the form of non- stop vomiting.  All of this landed me in the emergency room hooked up to an IV leaving me utterly exhausted and I am still not feeling right.  If you notice my last blog post I was feeling the the nausea then!

I have been asked several times over the past year in conversation and during a public speaking event what I thought was going to happen on December 21, 2012.  My answer was and still is, "Shifts are already taking place and have been even before 2012.  If people think about what has taken place within themselves over the past couple of years it could look or feel like a natural disaster.  Emotions that were suppressed maybe finally came up in an explosion not unlike a volcano.  When changes had to be made in someones life because something was no longer bearable or aligned with the truth of who they were perhaps it seemed like a tornado the way the changes took place. Someone may have experienced a depression within their heart that felt like a glacier moved in.  Perhaps the pressure and resistance of the overall changing of the times caused someones nervous system to short circuit and anxiety to set in like an earthquake within the body.

Everybody talks about pole shifts taking place possibly on December 21, 2012, but, I say it happening now.  It is happening on a spiritual and energetic level.  The pole shift is we are shifting from the old way of thinking and being led by our ego and mind to a new way of being that is being led from our heart and soul.  WHHHHAAAT?  "Oh my god, that is just woo woo silly nonsense!" says almost everyone coming from their heads.

Think about it.

"THE NATURAL DISASTERS AND POLE SHIFTS ARE HAPPENING WITHIN!"

Yes.  It sounds out there because most people are used to living in a certain way.  How many people actually let their hearts lead the way?  It is scary.  It is a surrender.  It is a pole shift.

We are in a time now where the more we resist something the even greater is going to persist.  I am living proof of this.

This whole year has been one inner natural disaster after another for me.  Yes.  I asked for it.  I just had no clue how it was going to happen.  I wish I could be in gratitude for the experience of it all because that is what living is about ..blah blah.  I am in gratitude at this moment, but sometimes I am not.

Yesterday I had yet another inner volcano erupt minus the spewing lava this time.  It was an emotional noisy screaming volcano.  An inner truth explosion.  These are going to keep happening to me until the surrender and acceptance rests in my heart.  I know this.  These have to happen because I set my intention last year to find the source of this life long inner pain and to do whatever I needed to release and heal.  Three weeks after I had made that request to the universe my whole life changed and still is changing.

Eight weeks ago I started a Mindful Living Class and wrote down the intention of  "Discovering and Living In My Truth."  I wrote it on a clay tile that was provided and I drew a heart with what looks like an combination of the infinity spiral and an eyeball.  I just made the connection of the drawing to my intention.  I am living this intention.  It just isn't playing out as I thought it would...

"I surrender on a daily basis sometimes without a fight!"

I have made small changes this year. It has been a very traumatic year for me and for my husband.  We have and continue to deal with our outer circumstances changing to make us look within and see what needs to be discovered, shifted, and brought forth if necessary.  There are more changes to come. I know this.  One step at a time.

Changes have to be made or the alternative is end up bed ridden, in the ER, or popping pills to make it go away.  Either an acceptance has to made, emotions have to be healed, actual physical changes have to take place, or whatever else.

Physical symptoms are also manifestations of inner mental and emotional imbalances.  Do not ever try to argue with me on this one.  You will win because I will not argue.  I cannot argue about something I believe in whole hearted.  You will never change my belief on this.

In order for me to improve my health I must be authentic. I must take time everyday to check in with myself.  I must be in awareness of self.  I have to sit in silence and go to my heart.

"I have to surrender to the truth of who I really am and not some projection of who I think I am."

Whoa!  That was liberating when I heard a teaching on awareness and the teacher talked shared about being in touch with who I really am and not some projection.  That was an eye and heart opener.
That teaching is now going to save me from many other mini inner natural disasters if I keep checking in with it.  That teaching is creating not only relief, but a geyser of my authentic juju is about to erupt.

I have built a projection of myself that served  a purpose and some of it will always be a part of me but much of it is not my truth.  Changes are coming.......

I write this loooong blog because I know I am not the only one whose inner world is going through an planetary evolution.  I know of people who don't seem to be affected by the shifts of these past couple of years and some people who have done great work and are in the flow now.  Everybody is different in what needs to shift and in how they deal with it.

Vomiting, Kidney Stones, Urinary Tract Infections, Flu, Exhaustion and on and on.  Honor it all and pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you.  What your soul is trying to tell you?

I have to honor who I truly am. I can only do that by continuing to shift from the head to the heart.  I have to really feel who I am in this very moment ,and be in touch with what I truly like and dislike and not what I think I should to be a "part of."

A couple of good books to go along with what I just blabbed on about are the following:

1.  The Joy Diet by Martha Beck - She gives you 10 ingredients for joy to follow and no its not fluff.  The first three steps you actually have to get silent and get downright truthful with yourself on a daily basis..oohhhh not that!

2.  You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay-  If you already believe there is an mental/emotional reason behind physical ailments then you probably have this book.  If you would like to know more of what in the world I am talking about I would suggest getting a copy.  It is fascinating.

3.  The Exquisite Risk, Daring To Live An Authentic Life by Mark Nepo-  I dare you to read this beautiful book and not feel the authenticity juju start bubbling up within you!


That is all.  Just wanted to share.  Have an beautiful day!   It's okay if you don't....:)